To Die to Self is to Live in Christ
In this episode I talk briefly of find-yourself-culture from a biblical perspective, and why the New Age and pursuit of self has no place in the Christian life.
I have spent a little bit of time in the world’s “find yourself” culture and thankfully by the grace of God, I have been brought out of that, but it’s definitely interesting to look back on my experience.
I am naturally very introverted, introspective, creative, and emotional. So this ideology of “finding yourself” has always been appealing to me. Before I truly knew Christ and put my trust in Him, I was constantly on this pursuit of “the next thing”, the pursuit of that “missing piece.” We are seeing this a lot in women today, young and old. I can think of a few influencers, youtubers in particular that are constantly finding The Thing that changed their life, The Method of meditation that changed their day. But you’ll notice that it never actually lasts. Every week it’s something new because those things never satisfy.
I know so deeply what it feels like to be in that loop and the emptiness that comes with it. “Always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth.” as we see in 2 Timothy 3:7. It’s a constant cycle of finding this “new” thing that the world offers and takes our own effort and our own striving and all it gives us is emptiness.
The second coming of the new age
I definitely think the New Age is to blame for our rise in this pursuit of self. There is nothing new under the sun (Ecclesiastes 1:9) but we are certainly seeing a New Age “second coming” of sorts in our culture today. I was never deep deep into the New Age, but I still unintentionally dabbled with it for a while. I was really into the enneagram and personality tests and I also tried meditation, mindfulness and occasionally yoga. These are all extremely dangerous and have no place in the Christian life, but sadly we are seeing them infiltrating the church. I was always extremely defensive when this was pointed out to me by other Christians, but seeds were planted and the Lord gave me eyes to see the truth. So it’s the least I can do to maybe do the same for others here. Please see the bottom of this post for more resources on the New Age and the Enneagram from a biblical perspective.
When I was involved in these things that are very self-introspective, I spiraled into darkness. It was a constant cycle of melancholy and bitterness and frustration because I was never able to arrive at “my true self”. All of these things that were supposed to be so promising were failing me. The enneagram, witchcraft, meditation, yoga, all of that opens you up to darkness.
As much as the world wants us to view Satan as just some red guy with horns and a pitchfork, we need to get back to what the Bible says which is that we do not wrestle against flesh and blood but of spiritual powers (Ephesians 6:12). The spiritual world is very real and there are things that will open you up to that. Now I’m not saying I was tormented by a demon, but I was dealing with darkness that is not a part of God’s kingdom.
I eventually got to the point where I began questioning whether the idea of “finding your true self” is biblical. I remember the day I was journaling a prayer and I wrote something along the lines of “Lord help me to become my true self” and as soon as I wrote those words, I was convicted. Wait a minute…that’s not right! Then I said “Lord, make me like Christ.”
To be my true self would be a horrible thing. I remember who I was before Christ…I was dead, a slave to darkness and sin, a slave to my flesh. Only in Christ am I free.
Jeremiah 17:9 tells us that “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” Romans 3:10 tells us “no one is righteous, no, not one.” Our true self, our true nature, is sinful! It’s utterly depraved! It’s selfish, hateful, greedy, prideful, angry, envious, lustful, lazy… and none of those things can be put off by our own efforts. But the good news is that in Christ we die to that sin and are made alive in Him and each day that we walk abiding in Him, we are shaped more and more to His image until the day of glorification when we are made perfect. (Romans 8:30, 1 Corinthians 15:51-53, 1 Thessalonians 5:23)
We are righteous in the eyes of God because of Jesus’ righteousness, not because we are good—because we are not! Jesus was the spotless lamb. The final and perfect sacrifice that reconciles His chosen with God. This is not something that could ever happen by our own works, our own efforts, our own “self-betterment”.
And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. [Ephesians 2:1-9]
Contrary to what the world tells us, self-love is not something we need to cultivate or pursue, it’s automatic. By nature, we want what is best for ourselves. We don’t need any help being selfish. An example of this is how you don’t have to teach a child how to be selfish, but you do have to teach them how to share.
The pursuit of self feels good at first, empowering even, but it is never ever fulfilling. It will never ever satisfy that deep longing and thirst in your soul. Only faith in Christ can do that. So even when meditation and yoga and the next “self-love” trend looks promising, it’s not. It’s empty.
On the flipside, there is a level of self-examination that is necessary in the Christian-walk. We are called to examine our hearts in a way that leads to repentance and sanctification through the power of the Holy Spirit.
“Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith.” [1 Corinthians 13:5]
But the world’s version of self-introspection is not a biblical kind. The growth the world speaks of is not a growth that comes from abiding in the vine…abiding in the commandments of our Lord. (John 15)
We are commanded to love the Lord our God with all our heart and with all our soul and with all our mind and to love our neighbor (Matthew 22:37-39) and we cannot pursue obedience in either of those commands if we do not first put to death the self.
Where there is love there is always self-denial
Where there is love there is always self-denial. The world does not get to define love, God does. Self-love is not love. God is love and therefore love is defined by God. True love does not favor the self but denies the self. Jesus is our example of this.
“And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." [Ephesians 5:2]
Jesus’ love was not rooted in His best interest but the best interest of His sheep. He laid His life down for His sheep and that sacrificial love is to be our example.
“For while we were still weak, at the right time, Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person— though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” [Romans 5:6-8]
The world tell us to “walk away from what doesn’t serve us” but Christ tells us to “walk toward others and serve them.”
I really don’t think the cross and the cup of God’s wrath that was meant for us, was really a pleasing-to-the-flesh experience for Jesus. Can you imagine if He took on the world’s perspective and said, “hm ya know what…this doesn’t really serve me…” and just walked away from the cross?! Absolutely not. That is not what He did! He died for the ungodly. He died the death and suffered the wrath meant for us when He was the only perfect sinless one to ever walk this earth.
That right there is the clearest example that self-love and the pursuit of self have absolutely no place in the Christian life. When what we are seeking is self betterment instead of God-glorification, we will continually be left empty. But when we give our life to Christ and abide in Him, our branches will bear fruit and we will be satisfied because we are drinking from the well that never runs dry.
There is no “self-improvement” apart from Sanctification that comes when you are regenerated in Christ Jesus. If you are dead in your sin it doesn’t matter what kind of method of meditation you use, the kind of therapist you go to, the kind of food that you eat—you are dead and walking in darkness. You will never find fulfillment apart from Christ.
Isaiah 26:3 says “you keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” If we want peace, fulfillment, a sound mind, satisfaction…it’s not wrong to seek those things. But we must go to the only place we will find them. We must immerse ourselves in God’s word and keep our mind on Him. We look outward to Christ rather than inward at ourselves.
“Whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” [Matthew 10:38-39]
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” [Matthew 16:24-25]
My friend if your heart is hungry today, don’t go searching for what the world offers. All it has is mere crumbs. Feast on the bread of Life who will fulfill your every need. If your soul is weary today, don’t go searching for what the world offers. All it has is filthy rags. Let Jesus Christ be the lifter of your head for His yoke is easy and His burden is light.
The world says “find yourself and follow your heart.” but Jesus says, “deny yourself and follow me!”
It is a death of ourselves so that we may live in Christ.
further reading and resources on this topic
Why Self Love Was Never The Answer
Doreen Virtue’s Youtube Channel
Abide Podcast “The Sufficiency of Scripture and The Enneagram”
The Second Coming of the New Age by Steven Bancarz and Josh Peck
The Dangers of Eastern Meditation