Surely Goodness and Mercy Shall Follow Me All The Days of Autumn
September came and went with its sweet golden heat and array of wild asters… acorns falling from the big oak tree outside our back door and noticeably shorter days. The summer heat lingered as it always does, but the cold nights and crisp mornings have been enough to begin changing the leaves and therefore directing my rhythms toward autumn.
October arrived and I found myself carrying corn stalks from the garden to the house with my toddler following not far behind, harvesting the ears of popcorn and tying the stalks into bundles for the porch. Now frost is in the forecast and I am feeling the pull towards home more than ever.
I find this time of year makes me so nostalgic for when my husband and I were planning our wedding, and then the next year, early postpartum with our baby. I wish I had those newborn days tucked away in my memories with more clarity, but they are a blur. I long to go back and experience it again, but then it wouldn’t really be the first time, now would it? That’s the beauty and the mystery and the joy and the trial of it all— that it’s new and once it has passed you can’t go back. Some days that is a relief and others a heartbreak.
I have been debating pretending it’s 2008 and only creating content for my blog. I go back and forth about Instagram so much. I have things to share and I don’t always have time to write a full blog post in this season of life. But posting quick snippets on Instagram feels like I’m adding to the distraction. If Instagram was any resemblance of what it used to be, I might feel differently. But my explore page is only full of fear mongering directed toward moms and my home page doesn’t even show anyone that I actually follow. It gives me stomach ache every time I go on. It really doesn’t matter how resolved I am to only go on to post this one thing or to only go on to check one account, I always get sucked in. At some point I have to admit that it’s less about fighting for self control and more about fighting against algorithms, layouts, and designs that are deliberately made to keep me addicted and lost to my own life.
Social media makes it easy for us wives and mothers to be home without truly being at home. It makes 1 Timothy 5:13 possible without leaving the comfort of our own couch:
“…they learn to be idlers, going about from house to house, and not only idlers, but also gossips and busybodies, saying what they should not.”
The Christian woman is not chronically online. She isn’t worried about what Suzy’s house looks like because she’s busy bringing beauty to her own. She isn’t stirring the pot with commentary on the latest drama, because she has a literal pot of chili on the stove to stir in order to feed her people. Sometimes I have to remind myself that it really is so simple.
But how will I be inspired is often my reasoning for sticking around, or shall I say, scrolling around. As if before the internet no one ever had a creative thought, made anything beautiful, or picked out a paint color without seeing someone else do it online. Because let’s be real…
Am I really being inspired or am I just being influenced?
So while it would be quicker just to share my photos on Instagram, I think moving to blogging only would be a form of beautiful resistance. Resistance against the pull, the distraction, the skimmable content, the easy, the quick, the mindless. If I am sharing, that means I know other women are consuming it, and so I better make sure that after they do so, they feel they have “redeemed the time” and their hearts are refreshed. Longform content is hardly popular or cool or that hit of dopamine we all crave, but I think for me it is a better discipline in the good and the true and the beautiful.
I think of this quote from the book The Royal Path of Life so often in regards to creating and sharing online:
“…to strengthen the weak, to comfort the weary, to hang pictures of faith and trust in the galleries of sunless lives, and to point the desolate to the golden heights of the hereafter.”
That’s the whole point isn’t it? In any ministry, in-person or online. May the work of my hands whether in my home or online reflect the above…that those who find themselves visiting here would feel like it’s a warm place to “come in from the cold.”
Onward!
Autumn’s symphony of cricket song seem to translate to Psalm 23:6… “Surely Your goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” over and over in my mind, even amidst the screaming teething baby and kefir spilled on my keyboard and crumbs sticking to my feet.
Praise God that we can give thanks in all things. He will not abandon my soul. I will cast my burdens on Him because He cares for me. I will give thanks in all things for that is the will of Christ Jesus for me! I will bless the Lord and forget not His benefits.
May you do the same this sweet season of autumn.